A Biblical Perspective on How to Move Forward with God, Not Grief
As we step into this new month - November, I wanted to open my heart and share an intimate update with you about where my soul has been resting following the passing and final home going celebrations of my beloved mother, Jemima. And as you read this blog, I pray your heart work is being held in strength by the Holy Spirit.
Over the past several weeks, my phone, inbox, and mailbox have been filled with a gentle, pouring rain of messages from friends, family, and sisters in Christ:
“How are you doing, Kate?” “You take care of everyone; who is taking care of you?”“ Hope you are taking time to grieve?”“ Are you seeing a therapist or counselor?” “Losing a loved one is hard. You might crash, so be prepared for that.” “I’ve been there and it’s not easy. I understand if you can’t make it.”“ Are you sleeping? Do you need me to get you anything?” "I love you, Kate. I’m here for you anytime…”
Each message carries a deep sentiment of genuine care, concern, and curiosity—care for my well-being, concern about the heavy weight of loss, and curiosity about how a "strong" sister who wears multiple hats gets back up.
The days following the final ceremonial rites of a loved one's passing are often the quietest, yet the hardest. It marks the end of a physical chapter. What separates us now on this side of eternity are memories. It is the beginning of a sacred space where we, the living, must move forward—not carrying a spirit of grief, but carrying the precious memories, honoring the relationship, and walking out the eternal lessons sown into our lives.
Moving Forward with God vs. Moving Forward with Grief
In our culture today, we often hear the secular advice: "You just have to learn to move forward with your grief."
Spiritually, through the lens of the Word of God, I believe that statement is deeply flawed and incomplete. If we try to navigate a season of loss in our own human strength, we stumble and tire quickly. Isaiah 40:29–31 has been a continuous, soothing whisper in my spirit throughout this journey:
“He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”
When we dwell, delight, and devote our hearts wholeheartedly to God, the biblical result is JOY—and "the joy of the Lord is your strength" (Nehemiah 8:10).
Consider the following with me for a moment: As a Christian, if I lean on this secular practice of "moving forward with grief"—making grief my permanent daily companion so I don't forget my loved one—what does that practice eventually become? Worship. What does this dependence reveal about my heart's devotion to the Lord? Where is the role of the Holy Spirit and Jesus as the Wonderful Counselor?
When we devote our minds and hearts to meditating on, exalting, or constantly sitting with anything or anyone other than God on the throne of our hearts, those burdens can subtly become idols. We can unknowingly harbor a spirit of grief, prolonging our capacity to receive the fullness of God's peace.
My posture in this season and any season is clear: Do not move forward with grief; move forward with GOD.
When I wake up each morning, I invite God first, not grief. When memories of my mother or my dad or my best friend Hetty come to my conscious mind, I invite God first, not grief. In the presence of God, I freely weep. I sit in sadness, I honor the good times and the hard times, and I allow my mind, brain, and body to do what they naturally need to do. When I sense the Holy Spirit’s gentle nudging, I pray my grief.
I pray my fears. I pray my hurt. I pray my pain. I pray my raw questions. I bring it ALL to Him, inviting Jesus to take what hurts and restore the joy and hope of His salvation in my heart.
Anchored in the Sustainer of All Things
Another vital truth I want to anchor your heart in today is that Christ holds and sustains every single piece of your life:
“He is before all things, and in him all things hold together.” — Colossians 1:17
Jesus Christ existed before any part of the physical or spiritual universe was created. He is the active sustainer of the cosmos, maintaining order so that creation does not descend into chaos.
Do you believe that in the grand scheme of everything—including your specific moment of loss, heartbreak, or transition—you are being held together by Jesus?
Even when your world feels shattered and your heart feels crushed, what looks like chaos to you is never chaos to Him. Do you trust Him to renew, restore, and rebuild your life again after loss?
Borrowing God's Perspective in a New Season
A few days after my mother’s home going services, a dear sister shared these profound words with me: “I pray God meets you in this new season and that you embrace the opportunity in store for you.”
Two words immediately leapt off the page: season and opportunity.
My heart instantly broke out in praise because that was the exact heavenly perspective I needed. If we are going to move forward with God, we must borrow His perspective. We must open our fragile, broken hearts to perceive the new thing He is doing (Isaiah 43:19). We cannot hold on to what has passed and still expect a fresh start.
When we invite God into our grieving process, we surrender our ideas of how we think we should grieve, and we receive His divine blueprint through the Holy Spirit. He created you, and He desires your wholeness, not your permanent brokenness. Trust Him in the mountaintop seasons and in the valley seasons alike—give Him both!
Where My Heart Rested: Answering Loving Questions with Scripture
I am moving at the pace of the Lord as He renews within me a quiet, steadfast, patient, and humble spirit. My desire for every dear sister, member or reader of Godly Woman & Company is that you learn the sacred art of stillness when trials come. Stillness opens the doorway of our hearts to dwell in His presence, delight in who He is, and devote our lives to His worship.
Here is where my heart rests in response to the caring questions I've received and I hope you pick up one or two or three insights. The questions I've been asked and where my heart is resting in Scripture:
“How are you doing, Kate?”
I am renewing my strength in the Lord (Isaiah 40:29).
“Who is taking care of you?”
Jesus Christ, the Sustainer of all things (Colossians 1:15–23).
“Hope you take time to grieve?”
I process and grieve whenever it shows up (Ecclesiastes 3:1–8).
“Are you seeing a therapist?”
I start with the Wonderful Counselor (Isaiah 9:6; John 14:16).
“Losing a mother is hard, you might crash.”
No crashing here! My hope is in Him (Isaiah 40:31), and I know where she is resting (Ecclesiastes 12:7).
“I understand if you can’t make it.”
The joy of the Lord is my strength—if He wills, I will be there (Nehemiah 8:10).
“Do you need me to get you anything?”
I am sleeping well, and yes, I need my friends! Come over anytime (Ecclesiastes 7:2).
“I love you, Kate. I’m here for you anytime…”
I love you too! A friend loves at all times (Proverbs 17:17). See you soon!
💡 3 Questions to Reflect on Your Soul Care
As a leader, it is important to take care of your heart - spirit, soul, and body! As you sit with this message today, I encourage you to take these three questions to your journal or quiet time with the Lord:
What and who am I inviting first? When a wave of sadness, memory, or trial enters your mind, do you invite God into the space first, or do you allow grief, panic, and isolation to take the lead?
Am I moving forward with God or with grief? No "ands"... Are there areas of your pain or past losses that you have unintentionally elevated to a place of daily meditation or worship, rather than surrendering them to Jesus for daily healing?
Do I trust Christ as my Sustainer in chaos? In what area of your life right now do you need to stop trying to hold everything together in your own human strength, and instead trust that Jesus is actively holding you together (Colossians 1:17)?
Dear Christian, make the decision today to grieve with God. In obedience, divine transformation happens. He will transform your heart, but you must let Him in and do what He says.
I look forward to hearing about your upcoming wins as the Lord opens your heart to see His perspective this season.
Until next time, always choose to be, live, and stay FREE!
Love,
Kate - Your Chief Joy Activator
Comments