I gasped when I heard the story. That someone that close to me and my family had had an abortion. It was just two weeks earlier that I was overcoming the shock that another beautiful soul had strongly considered aborting her pregnancy. I remember sounding a sigh of relief, singing praise that indeed this unborn child was destined for greatness like every single soul God places on this earth.
Here I was listening as another controversial debate brewed in the news, on the lips of Christians, believers and non-believers. There are those who have chosen the path of publicly proclaiming their experience going through an abortion, proudly owning it as a choice that had to be made; there are those who have chosen the path of chastising and judging such proclamations; there are those who have chosen the path of silence; and those who are still wondering when things would get back to the way they were – when these issues are handled strictly by the laws of the land and not tampered with much.
Here I was in my underwear and bra, quickly pulling up my spanx, getting ready for the work day when on Channel 5 news such a discussion was being reported, celebrities sharing (prochoice) and Christian groups and some politicians (prolife) busily dispelling each other’s views. I paused pulling up the spanx, turned to my husband and asked, what about God? Why do believers have to keep him quiet while all this proclamation is going on? What messages are being silently sent to young girls who admire these celebrities? What does his Word say about this? So many questions, so many thoughts, opinions while trying not to judge.
The truth is this was me when I was in college and my virginity was stolen, taken… my belief was of the world…I had been sexually abused all through my childhood, in college I was raped – I strongly believed that I had every right to choose abortion… that if I ever got pregnant as a result, I was going to abort. I didn’t get pregnant, I was dealt something else which I will share in my book. Now I look back and I am indeed glad my beliefs have changed and I know better – actually the best. See I wasn’t close to God then, I did not have intimacy with Him. I was relying on me to do me, to decide from me for me, because it was my life…I didnt know better. But then I worked on me, invited God to work on me, replace me; now I do know better…I know the best there ever will be and I can’t imagine not leaning on Him but on my own human abilities – to choose.
If that was me then, and now I hear all this, what now then…God?
The truth is if we all look deeper into our thoughts, beliefs, they all stem from something therefore we should never be so quick to speak, as righteous as we think we are, thinking highly of ourselves than we ought to.
I know your Word says we should persevere and endure for in due season we will reap, that we should be patient in affliction, faithful in prayer and joyful in hope… the tests and trials that we go through becomes our testimony someday. For those who didnt know you God then but now they do, how do they craft this testimony? For those who knew you then and now, how do they craft such testimony?
So some of us now know better but others…not…yet. What do we do and where is our place while abortion debates are circulating left and right, influencing those with little faith and angering some. What now God?
Seek to understand rather than to be understood for even though you walk through the valley of the shadows of death my grace is sufficient for everyone; everyone who comes to me worried, heavy laden I will give rest, peace, forgiveness, joy, love, comfort…
Show compassion towards those afflicted and lost for I am gracious and righteous; I am full of compassion. I created each of you from my inner most being, everything that you have encountered I already knew and loved you through it all because some day you will come find me, and I will be here arms wide open to embrace you.
Help those you can help, provide for them because I am your help, I am their help, I am the one who sustains you and them. Lean in to me, draw closer to me and I will provide for them through you. Avail yourself as a vessel to love on them – each person has been given freewill, a choice, their journey with me is personal – leave the judging to me.
Here I am reconciling the goodness of God with our sin nature; I shed tears knowing the pain and affliction and loneliness that each of these women in my life and around the world felt and feel. I also shed tears for the souls that will never see the world as God had intended for them because of man’s freewill. But then I am comforted knowing the mandate he’s placed on us – to be salt and light.
So while I no longer subscribe to taking the life of an unborn child irrespective of how they came to be, I subscribe to God – the author and finisher of our faith – and extend a hand of understanding, a hand of compassion and help.